Dec 2, 2009
Dec 1, 2009
The Husband as a Loving Leader
In modern marriages perhaps nowhere has confusion reigned more than in the area of the husband's role in marriage. On one extreme is the concept of the dominant husband who makes all decisions and informs the wife as to what they are going to do. On the other extreme is the contemporary "don't count on me" husband who expects his wife to support the family and make all the major decisions while he spends his time at the local gym.
Somewhere between these two extremes there is a healthy middle road where the husband is responsible, dependable, leading but not domineering. He is deeply committed to his wife and family. This is the biblical pattern which sees the husband as the loving leader. Loving in that his focus is on caring for his wife and leading in that he takes initiative to look out for her interest; in the same way that Christ took the initiative to look out for our interests.
What Does A Loving Leader Look Like?
For some, the words loving and leader are anomalies; some people cannot conceive of the two concepts working in tandem. Their idea of leadership is the authoritarian dictator who rules with an iron fist, and their concept of love is mushy and weak. But in a healthy family, the husband fits neither of these stereotypes.
One the one hand he is able to express both pain and joy. He is able to relate to his wife on an emotional level. On the other hand, he is strong and dependable, feeling a sense of responsibility for the well-being of his wife and family. He does not run when things get tough, but looks for solutions that will benefit the whole family. He is a leader to be sure, but he does not lead in isolation. He recognizes that the most effective leaders are servants, not dictators. He values the partnership with his wife; he wants to be there for her, but he has no desire to dominate her. This is the biblical husband.
The idea of the wife as partner is as old as human literature. In the creation account the man and the woman were instructed to subdue the earth and to rule over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air and other living creatures. The man was not instructed to subdue his wife. He was told to become "one flesh" with her.
In marriage, the man and the woman become partners. We are different physically and have different roles in the reproductive process. Our uniqueness means that we each bring something different to the table, but we come the table as partners. She may not think the way he thinks; she may not have the same skills he has; but the differences are assets, not liabilities. Together we are more likely to make wise decisions, become good parents, and accomplish exploits for God. Working as a team we reap the benefits of marriage. When the husband tries to dominate the wife, no one wins. When he takes the initiative to love her they both win. Marriage is a partnership.
Some research indicates that the average woman speaks 25,000 words per day while the average man speaks only 12,500 per day. There are certainly exceptions, but assuming this is generally true, it is possible that the average man uses most of his words in the workplace and arrives home with only one word left in his vocabulary. When the wife asks "How did thing go today?" his response is "fine." Such brevity will never build a healthy marriage.
I'm not suggesting we count our words, but I'm saying that some husbands will have to push themselves to go beyond what is "natural" for them in order to engage their wives in conversation. Life is shared primarily by means of communication. Without communication we become house mates rather than marriage partners. The husband must make time to keep connected with his wife. This may mean less TV or less time on the computer. Establishing a daily sharing time in which the two of you "connect" is the first step in being a leader.
All of us live by priorities. In our minds, we rank some things more important than others. These priorities are revealed most often by our actions. Answer the questions, "How do I spend my time? How do I invest my money? How do I use my energy?" and you will have the answer to the question "What are my priorities?"
For most men, vocation ranks near the top of their list. In our society, men draw much of their sense of significance from their vocation. This is not necessarily in conflict with a man's relationship with his wife unless the vocation comes to possess him. If your wife says, "He's married to his job. I only get the leftovers." It's time to sit down and talk. If that is the way she feels, then the loving husband will make some changes in his work patterns. Marriage is more important than vocation. Tragically, some men learn this too late. I've never met a man who regretted putting his wife at the top of his priority list.
Adapted from The Family You've Always Wanted: Five Ways You Can Make It Happen by Dr. Gary Chapman. To find out more about Dr. Chapman's resources, visit www.fivelovelanguages.com
Hope you enjoyed that!
Leave a comment and share your thoughts.
Godspeed & Kaizen
Nov 24, 2009
As I watched this video God whispered to me that this is how He responds when we come into His presence and spend time with Him. He is so excited, so estatic... He values every second!
Zephaniah 3:17 17 The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."
The word picture here is that God springs out of His throne and twirls in delight over you!
May you know His great love for you and may your love for Him increase with each day!
Godspeed & Kaizan
Nov 18, 2009
2012 is looking to be quite a big hit at the box office. And with it, there seems to be quite a buzz around the end of the world and such prophesies. This of course presents us with a great opportunity to talk about what the Bible has to say about the end...
The people at 'website evangelsim' have launched a 2012 website to scratch where people are itching. Click HERE to check out the site.
NASA have also launched a website to debunk the myths presented in the movie Click HERE to go there now..
Let us know what you thought of the movie and websites by leaving a comment.
Godspeed & kaizan
Nov 16, 2009
Not the mushy stuff but more about the bottom line.
I was chatting with God on my walk this morning and was thinking about
the fact that the bottom line for God is LOVE.
He is LOVE
And he wants us to LOVE.
I was thinking about the command to LOVE the lord with all you heart,
mind, soul & strength. Do I do that? Do I really LOVE with my everything?
Or am I like many others that only LOVEs when it makes logical sense?
when the person deserves it, or earns it, gives it first.
God says if we only love those that love us then we are no better
than those people who haven’t got a relationship with God.
We need to be different. LOVING people that don’t deserve it, have let us down, treat us poorly,
spoken badly of us or judged us. This isn’t an easy thing to really live!
And then there’s addition on how we are feeling on good or bad days...or what we’ve been facing...
Will we let that effect the way we LOVE?
So I’m on a mission...to learn how to love in a way that God loves us – in a way that isn’t determined on others behaviour or how I feel but to continue to love people no matter what.
I think it’s gonna be a life journey – but I’d love to hear any insights into your own journey on love.
It’s one worth taking! It’s the one thing that God desires of us above all else.
by Naomi Moore
Nov 9, 2009
Kids Are Quick
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this kid)
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I.'
MILLIE: I is……
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right...'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.
Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, sir. It's the same dog.
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
Nov 6, 2009
Click HERE to check it out. On this page we'll give you speacial sneak peaks at what is comming up as well as some resources that you will only find on the Facebook group! So if you haven't joined yet... what are you waiting for?
While we are on the subject of technology, have you checked out the podcasts of all our services available to download from iTunes or the church's website?
Oct 28, 2009
Oct 19, 2009
I have recently written a message (which is more for myself than for the church... but that's usually the case) about our need to constantly evaluate ourselves so that we don't drift off course.
A pilot, who is just one degree out will fly 17 1/2 m off course for every kilometer traveled. Not a big deal if you're flying a few kilometers. But what happens if you're flying from Auckland to London, a trip of 18 331 km's? If you were just one degree out... you'd end up in Dublin, Ireland instead of London. Thats 530km's off course!
I am constantly suffering with drift in my life, so I have found that I need to evaluate where I am at least once a week.
Below is one such set of evaluation questions that I have used (I got this from Ps Bill Hybels):
I’m not abiding when:
1. I go through most of the day or week pre-occupied with self concerns. (You’re the big number one on the agenda).
2. I go through long periods of time with no promptings or convictions from the Holy Spirit.
3. I go through long periods without being concerned for the poor.
4. I go through long periods of time not being broken for the Lost.
5. I can sit through worship sessions without being stirred to worship and honour God.
6. I’m easily angered when corrected.
Let me challenge you to try using this set of questions to evaluate yourself weekly over the next month.
If you would like to hear the podcast of this message, you can download it for free from iTunes. Simply open up the iTunes Store, search out Eastside Church, Click on our 6pm service and you'll find the podcast entitled: Evaluate To Elevate. Its a great message... even if I do have to say so myself : )
Leave a comment and let me know what you thought... or perhaps even share with us how you evaluate yourself.
Godspeed & Kaizan
Oct 2, 2009
The wednesday evening session was the most challenging for me personally as Ps Steve Kennedy challenged us to reach out and share our faith.
We can all make excuses why we cant reach out: busyness, shyness, spending most of your time with Christians, etc.
But as Ps Nick always says, "We need to keep the main thing, the main thing!"
Jesus put it this way:
"For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost."
Luke 19: 10
Today as I came into work and read my e-mails I saw the video that I have included in this post. Don't you just love God's gentle nudgings : )
May you feel encouraged to reach out to those in your world.
Godspeed & Kaizan
Sep 15, 2009
What are we doing with the ‘days of our life’? No-one knows how many days we have... but we all have days... and we get to choose what we do with them!
Romans 8:15 (from The Message) says... This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike “What’s next, Papa?”.
Let’s make the most of our ‘days’ and get away from timidity – into an adventurous spirit of expectancy! (2 Tim 1:7).
Jesus wants us to live life to the full (John 10:10)... and a key to doing this, is to put Him first in our life. Live life in close relationship with God – and ask Him – what’s next Papa??!!
Sep 8, 2009
Well for me that was just by-products of her amazing influence! She saved a nation, and I don’t know about you but seeing a young lady be moved into the right place at the right time, and therefore to be able to be in position to step in and save a nation – is pretty amazing!!
God’s way of using situations in our lives to position us for plans...rather a mystery! But very exciting!
So in reading this Old Testament book I have been intrigued by the word “entrusted” - when Esther was sent to the Palace she was “entrusted” to Hagai the Kings eunich. I’ve been pondering this word “entrusted” and come to a few thoughts.
1. Esther was entrusted to Hagai – this means he had to look after her, protect her, help her develop and be all she can be.
2. Though you are entrusted to someone, for this to be effective relationship – you must trust the person you have been entrusted to, believing that that person has the best in mind for you.
3. Through Esther trusting Hagai who she had been entrusted to, she was able to hear his wisdom and inside knowledge and therefore able to follow his wisdom, which led her to become Queen.
So my question to you would be: Who are you entrusting your life with? God should be your number one person that you entrust your life with – because he wants the best for you and will help give you the secrets of inside word on how to live life well and be in the right place at the right time, so that you too one day can walk into the purposes that God has prepared for you!
Don’t be like the King who entrusted his kingdom for a time to a man that wanted to destroy his queens nation. Read Esther to see more!
Sep 2, 2009
Shane Willard iaa personal mentor of mine. I have long been thankful for the great insights and revelation that he carries. I was reading his newsletter and saw this fantastic piece on prayer. May it bless and encourage you:
Not too long ago I was really challenged in my walk with God in the area of prayer. Jesus was teaching His disciples how to pray and He tells them..."when you pray, do not go on babbling like the pagans do, for they think they will be heard because of their many words." I was so challenged by this phrase. I asked myself, "what separates you from the pagans?"
I tend to go on and on when I pray. I remember being challenged as a young man to pray for an hour a day. To me, that meant talking for an hour. I would literally run out of things to say, so I began compiling a list of needs and working through them. This became an extremely monotonous exercise in spiritual discipline.
The problem is obvious and even gets more convicting when Jesus' next instruction is basically do not make your praying about listing your needs before God for don't you know that God knows what you need before you ask Him.
Well, this created a huge issue for me to work through with God. Jesus seems to be saying that the most powerful prayer life is not one of many words or a list of needs. No wonder my prayers seem to have no power. That is all they were about....words and needs. I mus admitthat if I took the words and needs out of my prayers that I literally have nothing left. Mix that with the fact that Jesus seemed to have His life in unisowith the Father, and I was left with an empty feeling inside.
I finally realized that I did not know how to pray. I had a two degrees in theology and on ordination and did not have a clue about how to pray without the focus being words or needs. Maybe what I learned next will help all of us who have struggled with this.
There is a law in Hebrew Hermaneutics that is called first mention. It means that whatever the first mention of something is in scripture defines with precedent the other mentions in scripture. What is the first mention of the idea of prayer in the Bible? It comes from Genesis 4 and says that the sons of Enosh called upon the Lord.
To fully understand this, we have to understand that the Hebrew Language was originally pictures. Every Hebrew letter was a picture, and every Hebrew word was a comic strip. The word translated called in Genesis 4 is three pictures. All three are heads. The first is the front of the head; the second is the back of a head; and the third is an ox head going into a yoke. You have this sense of a head turning front to back to look at an ox head going into a yoke. Therefore, when the Hebrew people read the word called or prayer, they read "a turning of the head in order to face the one who can bear the burden."
This makes all the sense in the world to me. That prayer is a change from self-consciousness to God-consciousness. It is an internal change of focus. It is realizing that God is as close to us as the air that we breathe and then becoming aware of it. Allowing our consciousness and imagination to feel the truth of the felt presence of God. This is how Jesus prayed for an hour and yet the words take 90 seconds to read. It was not about the words. The words were simply a manifestation of what had been built in quiet and in secret.
What would happen if our prayers could become that? Every word in the prayer built sufficiently in our spirit before they are spoken. Try it. Try praying without saying anything. Just sit quietly and become aware that the mighty One is close to you....as close as the air that you are breathing. Out of this awareness of God will come the most mighty prayers you have ever experienced.
Fantastic... wasn't it! Shane has numerous resources available on his web site. Click HERE to go and check it out.
Leave a comment and share some of your revelations on prayer.
Godspeed & Kaizan
Aug 31, 2009
Our heart beat at Eastside has always been to Win our world for Christ and see people developed into fully devoted followers of christ.
May this video have inspired you to share God's love with your world... for no matter where we find ourselves we are all in full time ministry.
Godspeed & Kaizan
Aug 24, 2009
1 Thessalonians 4:1-2 talks about living in a way that pleases God. The Message Bible puts it like this...
One final word, friends. We ask you – urge is more like it – that you keep on doing what we told you to do to please God, not in a dogged religious plod, but in a living, spirited dance. You know the guidelines we laid out for you from the Master Jesus. God wants you to live a pure life.
To live in relationship with God – and in a way that pleases Him – doesn’t mean to live a life of boredom and glumness!
Living in relationship with God is exciting – you never quite know what He’s got planned next! He gives amazing joy and fulfilment like nothing else can bring! Go on... grow your relationship with Him - and do life with a ‘living, spirited dance’!!